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Wednesday, 03 May 2017 15:27

This just isn’t going to get any better

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“What? Over? Did you say ‘over’? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!”

— John “Bluto” Blutarsky, Animal House, 1978

“I mean had Andrew Jackson been a little bit later you wouldn’t have had the Civil War. He was a very tough person, but he had a big heart …. People don’t realize, you know, the Civil War, if you think about it, why?”

— Donald J. Trump, White House, 2017

By now, you would think we would be getting used to this, and yet the President of United States keeps finding new and astonishing ways to lower our expectations of him. To be fair, when I say “a lot of us,” I mainly mean people who already had fairly low expectations to begin with. 

According to the polls I have seen, the majority of Trump voters continue to support him, regardless of what he says or does, which really cannot come as much of a surprise, considering that he bragged about sexually assaulting women, openly mocked a disabled person, and incited violence at his campaign rallies, and was elected anyway.

I understand that there was a widespread, visceral hatred for Hillary Clinton. I was never a big fan of the Clinton dynasty myself, and I continue to believe that almost ANYBODY else (are you listening, Joe Biden?) would have beaten Trump in the election. But what point is there in rehashing the past? Trump is president, and after a hundred days, we — and the world — are still trying to adjust.

One of the things I am having the hardest time adjusting to is the steady stream of Trump spokespeople and apologists who must translate what he says (“this is what he meant”), or downplay it (“that is not what he meant”), or deny it (“that is not what he said”). They characterize him as a man who speaks off the cuff, and therefore should be given a lot of latitude. In other words, when he says something really, astoundingly stupid, as he did this week in his comments about the Civil War, we should just laugh it off, punch each other in the arm, and say, “Isn’t he REFRESHING!”

But it isn’t refreshing when the leader of the free world says things that the average eighth-grader could refute. It is disturbing and embarrassing. And it is a sad day indeed when half of America is like a high school kid with a crush trying to make excuses for an awful boyfriend or girlfriend.

“You just don’t KNOW him like I do!” (sniff sniff) “He’s not at all what you think he is. I’m the one that knows him, not you. You’re just JEALOUS because you don’t have what we have!”

I hate to break it to you, America, but Trump is just a terrible boyfriend. He isn’t going to keep any of those promises he made, all of those sweet nothings he whispered into your ears during the campaign. Hillary isn’t going to jail. Mexico isn’t going to pay for the wall, which will probably never be built. He is not going to lower the deficit (once those huge tax cuts for his corporate cronies kick in, the deficit will skyrocket). He is not going to provide a better health care plan. He is not … oh, I can’t go on like this. It is too depressing, and you’re still in the honeymoon phase. You’re only going to get upset with anyone who tells you the truth about him. We’ve all been there. It does not end well.

In the meantime, we and the rest of the world must figure out how we’re going to muddle through these next few years until America wakes up and realizes that even John Blutarsky would make a better president than Donald Trump. And a better boyfriend.

(Chris Cox is a writer and teacher who lives in Haywood County. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..">This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..)

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