There are some among you who must suspect that, in the past year, I’ve written all I possibly can about my fondness for the food, music, and culture of Louisiana, but you’d be wrong: I haven’t even mentioned boudin, the debris sandwich, or Earl King’s hair yet. In many respects, that’s admirable restraint. Besides, who can resist a chance to use the phrase “full flying pink munky regalia”? Not me.

So I hope you’ll forgive me for spilling still more ink about Asheville’s noble attempt to bring a touch of genuine Mardi Gras to the mountains. Yes, folks, Saturday brings the Third Annual Mardi Gras Ball of the Mystic Krewe of the Munky Doux. (This seems like as good a place as any for my annual “Munky Si, Munky Doux” joke. Done.) The theme for this year’s ball is “Commander-in-Chimp” — insert your own George W. gibe here — and the Krewe will gather at the Jack of the Wood at 2 o’clock to crown the new Munky King and Munky Queen. Sometime around 4, the assembled sots and revelers will march through the streets of downtown Asheville, led by the Go-Go Girlie Action gang ... in full flying pink munky regalia!

The parade will end up, as usual, in the cozy confines of the Orange Peel, where a Mardi Gras Ball will feature live music from Hobex, canned music from DJ Funky Munky, and a New Orleans-style feast featuring jambalaya, crawfish pie, and file gumbo. Earl King’s hair will not be in attendance.

Now some might say that Mardi Gras in the Mountains flies in the face of reason. Mardi Gras is part of the larger Catholic tradition of Carnival, after all, and Carnival always precedes Lent. Lent, of course, has to precede Easter by 40 days, or it’s not Lent at all. Do all the math and you’ll find that Carnival almost always falls in February, which is why it tends to be celebrated South of here. This is doubly true of those celebrations that feature ample displays of flesh ... and nearly all versions of Carnival feature ample displays of flesh.

Except this one, I presume. Even your hardier mountain folk balk at the thought of parading through the streets in fishnets and spangles during a sleet storm, no matter how many rum drinks are involved. Which leads, of course, to the inevitable question: is there any way to make full flying pink munky regalia from polypropylene? I dunno, but you can bet the Go Go Girlies have thought about it. Polypropylene or no, here’s hoping for mild weather come Saturday — and if Jack Frost does decide to join the Krewe, here’s hoping he likes crawfish pie.

For information on krewe dues, ball tickets, and all the big doin’s, visit the Orange Peel website or give ‘em a ring at 828.225.5851.

(Jay Hardwig is a writer and teacher. He can be reached at smardwig@charter.net)