The following agencies provide help for victims of sexual or physical abuse regardless of whether a crime has been reported to authorities:
• Swain/Qualla SAFE serves Swain and Graham Counties, as well as the Cherokee Indian Reservation. 828.488.6809 or 828.497.4332 (After hours, it’s answered in the Sheriff’s Department. They’ll page a SAFE worker for you.)
• REACH of Jackson County. 828.586.8969 (After hours, dial 911 and ask for REACH worker on call)
• REACH of Haywood County. 828.456.7898
• REACH of Macon County. 828.369.5544 (After hours, call 911 and ask for REACH worker on call.)
• REACH of Murphy serves Cherokee County. 828.837.8064
• REACH of Hayesville serves Clay County. 828.389.0797
• Our Voice serves the Asheville area. 828.255.7576
• RAINN is a national network. If you dial this number, it will automatically connect to the agency nearest you. 1.800.656.HOPE (4673)

Editor’s note: April is Sexual Abuse Awareness Month. This is the third in a series of articles discussing different aspects of the issue.

How much do you know about sexual harassment? Try this little quiz.

1. Judy is the only woman in the shipping department of a large supply house. Ben, her boss, has asked her out two or three times, but Judy’s already dating someone else. When her boyfriend hears about Ben, he tells Judy to file sexual harassment charges. Can Judy claim harassment?

2. Martin is a small, gentle man. Most of his co-workers respect him, but two men he works with rag him constantly. Lately they have been saying things like, “Hey, Martin. How’s your husband?” Is Martin being sexually harassed?

3. Jill is a very attractive 30-year-old college student. She takes pride in her appearance, wears expensive business suits, and seems very professional. In the first class of her senior year, a new professor doesn’t realize she’s a student, and asks her out on a date. When she turns him down, he gets her phone number from the campus directory and calls her at home to ask her again. Is Jill a victim of sexual harassment?

4. Martha is Sam’s boss. They’ve worked together for two years. Eight months ago, they started going out, but now Sam wants to cool things off a bit. Martha says he’ll have to look for another job if he breaks up with her. Is this sexual harassment?

5. Amy is in the grocery store when she sees the deli manager rubbing the produce manager’s neck and shoulders. They’re getting rather intimate, and very physical, and don’t seem to care if anyone sees them. Amy is embarrassed and asks them to cool it, but they just laugh and say, “We’re married. It’s legal.” Can Amy claim sexual harassment?

OK. Let’s see how you did. In question 1, we don’t know enough to tell if there’s any harassment going on. If Judy has asked her boss to leave her alone and told him his behavior is offensive, she is being harassed if it continues. It sounds as though her boyfriend is more upset by her boss than Judy is, so, in that case, the answer is no. Sexual harassment isn’t just flirting.

Question 2 is questionable. Martin is being harassed if these jokes make the work environment hostile and/or the behavior negatively affects his job performance. Men can be sexually harassed, as well as women, by other men, or by women. Jokes, innuendo, or blatant remarks are harassment only if they negatively affect someone.

Question 3 is tricky. Asking Jill out the first time probably isn’t harassment. If she makes it clear that she isn’t interested, and he still calls her, he’s on dangerous ground. If he makes classes difficult for her because she won’t go out with him, or discriminates against her, it’s grounds for a legal claim. By the way, most universities have stringent codes against fraternization between instructors and students, so dating could be problematic, whether or not there’s any harassment.

Number 4 is right out there. Martha threatens Sam with his job if he doesn’t continue to see her. Martha is guilty of “quid pro quo” sexual harassment against Sam.

Question 5 may not be as easy as you think. According to the law, if a third party (in this case the customer) is affected by “offending” conduct, she or he can claim sexual harassment. The difficulty lies in determining how injurious the behavior is to the one making the complaint. The complainant must find the behavior so hostile or offensive that she or he cannot continue with her business.

Sexual harassment suits gain a lot of publicity every year and cause big problems for thousands of people. It’s legally defined as unwelcome sexual advances or other sexualized conduct which interferes with a person’s employment or work performance, or creates a hostile work environment. The laws now include academic settings as well.

Harassment is unfair manipulation or discrimination based on the victim’s gender and/or sexual preference. Sometimes it gets rather brutal, and it can even escalate into stalking or rape. It causes untold emotional (and sometimes physical) anguish and can shipwreck a career or a life.

Offenders in these cases aren’t just annoying people who flirt with you when you wish they’d go away. Their behavior can cost them their own jobs, as well as marring their victims’ lives. It costs industry billions of dollars per year.

Before we go any further, let’s discuss some other examples of what sexual harassment is and is not.

• It is unwanted or unwelcome sexual requests, comments, gestures, or physical contact.

• It isn’t just flirtatious behavior or compliments on your appearance, even if those compliments are sexual in nature. It must be unwelcome and not reciprocal.

• It must create anxiety or uncertainty about your job, your grades, your permission to take the class ... in other words, the victim must feel some pressure to comply.

• It must affect your performance or unreasonably interfere with your comfort in the environment. One raunchy joke that everyone finds funny and nobody objects to may be in poor taste, but it isn’t sexual harassment. Continuing to expose your coworkers to unwanted and offensive risqué stories is.

• It can be heterosexual or homosexual in nature, and people of the same gender can harass each other.

• Women can harass men, not just the other way around.

• If the offender claims he was just joking, but the victim says, “It was hurtful and I asked you to stop,” it’s harassment. The “injury” is based on the victim’s perspective, not on the offender’s meaning. On the flip side, no matter what the behavior, if there’s no offense taken, there’s no harassment. Remember, the injury is based on the victim’s perspective. In this case, if there’s no victim, there’s no crime.

There’s a lot of misinformation and misunderstanding about sexual harassment, and hundreds of frivolous claims come before attorneys and judges every year. The law isn’t about manners, speech or morality. Sexual harassment is, according to U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, “a form of sex discrimination that violates Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.” The law is meant to address unequal treatment, based on gender or sexual preference, which a reasonable person would find offensive enough to affect his/her job or school performance. Like all other forms of sexual violence, this crime isn’t as much about sex as it is about power, manipulation, and unfairness.

What can you do if you believe you’re being victimized?

• First, tell the person that you find his or her behavior offensive, and ask him to stop. Don’t make it into a joke, and don’t act as if it’s no big deal. People have different levels of tolerance for questionable behavior. He may not know anyone objects to his words or actions.

• If it continues, report the incident to someone who can advocate for you. In any business, there should be at least one person to help you handle these matters. Often it’s your immediate supervisor. If your supervisor is the one causing the problem, go to someone else in a position of authority. If you need to take this case to court, there must be an official complaint.

• Document each incident, preferably right after it happens. Include the time of day and date, and what happened. It doesn’t have to be a long essay ... just the facts.

• Some attorneys advocate writing a letter to the harasser, telling in clear detail how the actions are affecting you. Keep it professional and unemotional, but be specific about the behaviors and that they are unwelcome. Retain a copy of the letter for your records. If you have an attorney, consult with him prior to this step.

• Note if there are any witnesses to the behavior, especially if they also saw or heard you ask the offender to stop. There may be others who have been harassed by the same person. These people might be willing to testify, if it comes to that.

• Show how the harassment has affected your work or your grades. Document any emotional distress it’s causing. In general, the behavior has to be repeated after you’ve asked for it to stop, serious enough to cause a reasonable person some kind of suffering, and contribute to a hostile or threatening work environment.

The wording of the original law is specific to workplace problems, but academic settings now have guidelines under the same legal code. In universities and colleges, the person to contact is usually the dean of students. In grade schools, the guidance counselor or principal can direct you to the proper person.

Considering the enormous costs to business, employers and managers should do everything within their power to lower the risks of sexual harassment in their workplaces. Here are some suggestions from an attorney specializing in training human resource departments of several large corporations: have a strict written policy, and post it in several high-visibility spots; make the complaint/investigation process as professional and non-threatening to the victim as possible; assure the complainant’s confidentiality and protection from retaliation; have a clear outline of disciplinary action; make training on this issue mandatory and document it; and enforce policy consistently and without partiality.

No environment can be totally risk-free, but we can all have a part in making certain our stance is clear. Sexual violence, in all its forms, will not stop until we as a people refuse to tolerate it. If you see harassment or violence happening and do nothing about it, you’re sending a clear message that you will tolerate it. It takes courage to speak out about any of these issues. But, if we fail to speak, we, or someone dear to us, may be the next victim.

If you need an attorney for a sexual harassment suit, you can call the Lawyer Referral Service of the North Carolina Bar Association at 1.800.662.7660. The first 30 minutes of your initial consultation will cost no more than $30 if you notify the attorney that you were referred by this service.

Andrea Chester works for SAFE of Swain County and the Qualla Boundary. She can be reached at amchester@peoplepc.com.