Tomatoes
really can save the world By
David Curtis
I
am a firm believer that the world would be a much better place if
everyone just grew tomatoes.
This thought came to me the other night; I was making pizza for
the family and wished I had some fresh tomatoes to slice for the
topping. Earlier that day I was working in the garden admiring my
tomato plants, the small green fruits were no larger than golf balls,
and I was already anticipating the harvest of my first juicy, red
ripe tomato.
Imagine the health savings if people just spent more time cultivating
tomatoes. Stress and anxiety would flow down your neck and shoulders
and right out your finger tips as you worked ... sorry, bad word
... as you caressed your plants after a hard day of dealing with
cranky kids, annoying co-workers, or just plain too many demanding
people.
Your blood pressure would be like that of a marathoner. Sleep
aids, won’t need them anymore — sweet dreams of tomato
sandwiches will fill your head. And gentlemen, for your information
the tomato was once referred to as “the love apple,”
a fruit with such aphrodisiacal powers that it would ... well, lets
just say with names like Big Boy, Whopper and Big Beef ... I think
you get the picture.
If parents could coax their children away from the virtual babysitter
— the Xbox, the PS3, or the Wii — and show them where
ketchup comes from, the world would be a better place. If dust collects
on a video game that’s not a sign of poor housekeeping, but
a sign of good parenting.
Growing tomatoes may not make us smarter, but they can teach us
patience, and with patience comes wisdom. For that reason alone
they should be planted outside every courthouse in Western North
Carolina. Then the next time one of the county commissioners feels
the urge to say, or do, something foolish, they could go outside
and tend to the tomato plants until the urge passes.
If someone starts to argue slope ordinance you could counter with
your praise of Pink Brandywine. Disgust of traffic circles and barriers
becomes discussions on the virtues of growing Better Boys. The building
moratorium transforms into building momentum for the classic red
yellow Mr. Stripy. The Cherokee casino comes up lemons to heirloom
favorite Cherokee Purple, the Road to Nowhere stops at the mention
of Roma, Early Girl, and Beefsteak.
Gas prices would plummet and traffic backups at I-40 and I-26
would vanish, people would be driving less all the while staying
home to care for their tomatoes. Merchants in downtown Waynesville
and Sylva would feel the crunch; Wal-Mart stock would drop and Dick
Cheney would come clean and disclose that he grows German Johnson
pinks in the White House Rose Garden.
Just think, if all of the troubled spots in the world would lay
down their weapons, put aside their bombs and pick up a tomato plant
the world would be a better place.
No more conflict, fighting or wars, fresh and canned tomatoes
would cure disease, end world hunger and create hope in impoverished
nations. The streets of Ghost Town would be peaceful once again
as gunslingers would share bites of ‘mater sandwiches.
But what if growing tomatoes wasn’t the answer to a better
world? What if the plastic-culture, synthetic-fertilizing, petroleum-dependent
commercial tomato growers started to mock and ridicule the heirloom-growing,
seaweed-composting, beneficial-insect spreading organic tomato growers?
What if out of state land developers — who don’t understand
or care about our mountain heritage and culture — came in
and bought up, subdivided and built gated communities on our vanishing
agricultural farm land, replacing our tomatoes with crepe myrtles,
pampas grass and expensive homes?
What if the Food and Drug Administration reported that the claims
of tomatoes as an aphrodisiac were false and misleading? Could middle-aged
men ever set foot in the garden again without feeling betrayed?
Friends, don’t get discouraged. Don’t “what
if” yourself into growing cabbage or onions — there’s
no peace in that — tomatoes are still the answer. Life is
full of challenges; think positive. It’s hard work making
the world a better place, but together, with the right tomato and
the proper soil, I think we are up to the task.
I will do my part, will you?
(When David Curtis isn’t tending to his tomatoes he
teaches middle school biotechnology in Haywood County. He can be
reached at dcurtis@haywood.k12.nc.us.)