date
Scary good
Halloween music for a midnight dreary, as a writer ponders weak and weary.
By Hunter Pope
Blah,
and good day, my fair-necked pretties. I am Count Sussudio, a, ahem,
third generation vampire. Do not snicker at my name. My benefactor
gave it to me when she brought me into this life by dining on my neck
during that dreadful Phil Collins song. It is usually good to be a
vampire, but in this ghastly day and age, it’s hard to live like
one. Political correctness has forced our lot to stray from humans
and dine on second-class jugulars like fowl and ... rodent. Coffins
have been replaced by the much more conservative dorm locker. My thoughts
grow grimmer when I think of our waning popularity in that vonderful,
excuse me, wonderful place called Hollywood. There’s no respect
by the living world. No one even loses their facial color anymore
when I tell them I am a creature of the night.Regretfully, I have taken up being a scribe for the newspaper. Money is low and that uppity law student says she’ll, Blah, spray me with garlic if I don’t pay her rent on that locker. But things are looking up. That ratty mortal, Hunter Pope, told me he didn’t feel like vrit ... writing and gave me a last minute duty. I felt like eating his face off, but I took the assignment instead. The assignment read: ‘What’s good to do on Halloween?’
Blah! How the hell should I know? It’s cold that time of year and the trees all look like skeletons. Do you think I enjoy kids imitating me so they can get candy? I work hard on my fangs, and seeing children use my face to get poison that rots their teeth is abysmal. Still, I need the money. Pet stores are expensive and that student has friends that can break “things.” I hope you enjoy my first article. And if you don’t, may your Halloween be filled with treachery and botched eggings...
Who: Trey Anastasio
Where. Asheville Civic Center
When: Why Halloween, you puny mortal
How Much: $35, you can go to Ticketmaster, www.ticketmaster.com, or charge by phone at 828.251.5505; for more information, go to www.ashevilleciviccenter.com
This could also be called the “Night of the Claimed Coach.” If you’re an Asheville area resident and you go to the show, you may notice an influx of stay-overs at your house after the concert. Freaks who even defile the woodwork will be out for this one. It’s a hard one to miss. Anastasio is the guitar hero (God, some swear) from the hugely popular experimental jazz/rock/other band, Phish (who will reunite at New Years in New York after an almost two-year hiatus).
Trey’s solo gigs began in 1999 with Russ Lawton (drums) and Tony Markellis (drums). The response was overwhelming and Trey’s band seems to grow with each outing. They numbered 10 when the Trey band closed the Bonnaroo festivities in front of 70,000 boogiers. The lineup stays the same for the fall outing, and it contains five members on brass (including the immensely talented alto sax man, Dave Grippo). Given the hectic schedules of all the performers, this will be the last time that this band will be seen in its present formation. Expect shenanigans and an armload of surprises from professional prankster Anastasio (Phish was infamous for doing full albums, like the Beatle’s “White Album” on Halloween). Buying or taking candy from strangers is optional at this show.
Björn Again
When: 9 p.m., Halloween
Where: The Orange Peel
How Much: $25, you can order from the Orange Peel’s
website at www.theorangepeel.net, or call 828.299.9532
This would chill my blood if I had any. Björn Again is an Australian-based
outfit that has forgone their normal destinies to become (shiver)
an ABBA cover band. Formed on a dark cheesy night in 1989, Björn
Again was immediately mistaken for the real deal because they looked,
sounded, and behaved just like ABBA.
They got the confirmation that they were professional imposters
when they received a telegram from Björn Ulvaeus in 1990 during
their first tour of Sweden. The humble letter read: “The best
of luck. Anyone who looks like me ought to have a successful career!”
Although Ulvaeus got a little salty on a Belfast radio in 1992 by
saying of the cover kids: “I am flattered by everything Bjorn
Again do but the accents. I hope my accent isn’t as lousy as
his one. And I never say Nej (Swedish for NO) !”
But confirmation of their faux destiny came in 1999 when Benny Andersson
of ABBA remarked on Capital Radio London that: “Fans had better
make the most out of Björn Again because that’s the closest
they are going to get to seeing ABBA. ABBA will never reform!!”
Aw, shucks.
Strangely (through bribes or threats, I suppose), the media has
been won over by Björn Again. Rolling Stone called them “fabulously
flawless” and Q Magazine of London ranted, “If Abba reformed
they wouldn’t be as much fun as Björn Again”
The Spice Girls certainly thought so when they invited the upstarts
to perform with them at their four UK “Spiceworld” shows
in 1998. Their acceptance validated, Björn Again has traveled
to over 50 countries with 2,500 shows under their sequins. I vonde
... wonder if these were captive audiences?
Dr. John
“Gris-Gris”
Of course, if you’re afraid of your own shadow, but still have
that uncanny trait of wanting to be scared, you could always listen
to Dr. John’s first album in the confines of your (tomb) home.
“Gris-Gris” is one those albums that can summon goose
bumps on the nape of your luscious neck (pardon me, I am a weak
immortal). Full of dark chants, snakey guitars, Adams Family style
organs, and snake-charm reeds, “Gris-Gris” turned Dr.
John (real name Mac Rebennack) into an icon of jazz/rock/R&B latticed
with voodoo mysticism. Although Rebennack would later return to
his New Orleans roots, he would forever be known as voodoo monarch,
Dr. John.
Gris-Gris itself is a New Orleans term for voodoo, and the name
Dr. John was taken from a New Orleans root doctor of the 1840s and
1850s. Also known as John Montaigne and Bayou John, he was busted
in the 1840s for practicing voodoo with Pauline Rebennack (who may
or may not have been a distant relative of Mac).
The album’s opener, “Gris-Gris Gumbo Ya-Ya,” introduces
us to Dr. John, The Night Tripper. With background vocals that border
on incantations, the Doctor takes us into his world of charms and
medicines that “can cure all yall’s ills.” With droning
guitars that sound like they’re being strummed by the undead,
“Gumbo Ya-Ya” is high on the creepy factor.
Of course, for the spineless mortals, there is music on this album
that doesn’t summon dark dreams. “Mama Roux” is the
kind of swamp funk that gets down in the marrow. “Jump Sturdy”
is a shotgun wedding of vaudeville and rock. It was inspired by
one of Mac’s grandfathers, who sang in a minstrel show. One
of his favorite tunes was the same named, “Jump Sturdy.”
For the thick necked (you can call me anytime) there are more “sinister”
tunes like, “Danse Fambeaux.” Enigmatic melodies, chants,
minstrel strings, and spell-casting lyrics bedazzle this song. Throw
this baby on when things are getting too light.
Of course, no one, brave and scared alike, can escape the tendrils
of the last song, “I Walk On Guilded Splinters.” Many
a band has covered this tune, hoping they can put a tuft of dark
magic in their playing. No one does it as slithery as the Doctor,
and the end results are more menacing than the things that breed
in your closet. Full of voodoo imagery (‘walk on pins and needles,
see what they can do’) and charming threats (I’ll make
you stutter, turn your heart to butter), “Guilded” is
perhaps Dr. John’s masterpiece. It’s a gnarly bookend
for an album that’s sure to make you scream with satisfaction.
Or fear. If you’re scared, you can always stop, Blah, by my
home...