<< Back 11/6/02 A Roman caveat winners should remember By Jeff Minick In ancient Rome generals and emperors who had won a great victory over one of Rome’s enemies received on their return a triumphal procession through the city’s streets. In the procession were slaves and captives, carts loaded with plunder, ranks of marching soldiers and jaunty cavalry. By now many politicians throughout Western North Carolina are celebrating their own triumphal processions. They have vanquished their opponents, have gained their offices, and have earned their celebrations. Behind them they trail carts filled with promises and ranks of voters anxious to see that their victorious candidates deliver on certain of those promises. Although like many Americans I felt removed from the recent election, I made a point of spending Friday evening before the election watching these campaign promises and advertisements on television. Some of the issues and candidates were quite diverting. High on the agenda of many candidates was the cost of prescription drugs for the elderly. Watching some of the negative campaign ads, viewers might have concluded that certain candidates could hardly wait to begin turning our poor, downtrodden old folks out into the street, where they would be driven by the busload to country poor homes. Someone named Bruce Goforth made frequent screen appearances, promising that he would lower these drug costs. Such high confidence should arouse both interest and speculation. How does Mr. Goforth plan to do accomplish such a legislative feat? Does he have some special connection to the pharmaceutical companies? Will he simply raise everyone’s taxes to lower the drug costs? If it’s so easy, why didn’t his predecessor lower the drug costs and get the old folks to vote for him? Will Mr. Goforth share his secret with us if he isn’t elected? Education ranked with the elderly in terms of an important issue. I literally can’t remember an election in the last 20 years when politicians didn’t use the education issue to gain office. This year one big issue was vouchers, public monies given to certain qualified students to attend private or parochial schools. If you supported vouchers, you hated public schools. If you were against vouchers, you hated freedom. No one seemed too concerned about the welfare of the students in this fray. Especially entertaining were all the teachers who did advertisements for such candidates as Erskine Bowles. Was it me or did it strike anyone else as both odd and amusing how some of our public school teachers — public employees paid by tax dollars — were touting candidates who had shamelessly promised to keep those tax dollars flowing? The effect was akin to Pentagon colonels blowing the horn for Bush, knowing that Bush supports military pay raises. I learned two lessons watching these ads. Lesson One: It’s hard to be against old folks unless, that is, you happen to know some of them. If I thought of the elderly in the abstract or as cuddly as they appeared in the ads, then they certainly seemed deserving of a price break on prescription drugs. If, however, I summoned to mind a picture of my old friend from Florida who used to drive around Waynesville shooting the finger at everyone who honked at him for his poor driving, these same elderly became a bunch of old codgers, and my sympathy diminished. Lesson Two: It’s hard for anyone to be against education unless, of course, you happen to attend school. Unfortunately, such advertising, often deliberately misleading, is indicative of a certain ignorance among the political parties themselves. Two weeks before the elections, my wife took my 18-year-old daughter, who needed to vote by absentee ballot, to visit Republican and Democratic headquarters in Waynesville. In each place my daughter asked for a sample ballot and some information about the candidates. Neither party headquarters had any sample ballots. None of the personnel in the party headquarters seemed particularly knowledgeable about the candidates whom their party was running. The Republicans seemed confused about some of the positions of their candidates. At Democratic headquarters my wife asked three men whether any Democratic candidates were pro-life. They looked at her, looked at one another, and then looked at her again. “We’ve never been asked that question before,” one of them finally said. For once in my life, I did get a close look at a campaign. My neighbor, Joe Sam Queen, ran for N.C. Senate. Though Joe Sam and I disagree on a number of issues, I enjoyed the radio ad in which Andy Griffith, also known as Andy of Mayberry, promoted his “old friend, Joe Sam Queen.” Andy of Mayberry is the best show that ever appeared on television, so in our family this promotion was pretty hot stuff, even if Mr. Griffith’s voice did sound a trifle shaky, as if he was speaking from a pub in a nursing home (Now there’s something that might appeal — fern bars in retirement homes. Why don’t candidates come up with ideas like that? How hard can it be?). Well, all the hoopla will be over by the time you read this article. The signs and posters will begin disappearing from the yards and pastures, the television advertisers will go back to selling cars and deodorants, and people like Joe Sam will either have an empty feeling in their stomachs for a while or be driving off to Raleigh and town hall with big smiles on their faces. To the losers we can offer scant comfort. They must necessarily contemplate their defeat and tend to their wounds in solitude while deciding whether to try again next time. To the winners we might offer a last glance at that Roman procession. Always in this triumph a slave stood in the chariot behind the victorious general. Over the general’s head he held a garland of laurel, signifying victory. Into the general’s ear the slave repeatedly whispered a caveat: “All glory is fleeting. All glory is fleeting.” Wise winners will keep that thought firmly in mind. (Jeff Minick lives in Waynesville. He can be reached at saintsbookco@aol.com)