<< Back 11/27/02 Flicks By Hunter Pope Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys Director: Peter Care (debut film) Based on the 1994 book, Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys, by Chris Fuhrman Animation: Sequences directed by Todd McFarlane (creator of the comic book, “Spawn”) Cast: Tim Sullivan: Kieran Culkin Margie Flynn: Jena Malone Francis Doyle: Emile Hirsch Father Casey: Vincent D’Onofrio Sister Assumpta: Jodie Foster Rating: R — for language, sexual content and youth substance abuse The movie’s title, “Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys,” suggests the priest pedophilia rage that has darkened the country like an incurable plague. The first time I saw the title, I immediately assumed that some half-assed filmmaker had decided to cash in on another of our nation’s blemishes. Thankfully, the only dangers that exist in this movie are the woes of teen puberty. Yes, there are sexual suggestions, but they all come from adolescent discoveries. The movie is based on Chris Fuhrman’s 1994 cult book by the same name, and is directed by first-timer Peter Care (a prize-winning maker of music videos and commercials). The film is set in an idyllic town in the mid-70s. Groves of trees line the streets, suburbs still have a coat of gloss, and everything is peachy... on the surface. Living between the underbelly and the surface are teenage buddies Francis Doyle (Emile Hirsch) and Tim Sullivan (Kieran Culkin). The dastardly duo goes to Catholic School during the day and becomes amateur hoodlums at night. They drink terrible liquor, smoke cigarettes like they are Tootsie Pops, and play pranks on their nemesis, Sister Assumpta (Jodie Foster). The story is told through the highly creative Francis, who has made a comic book called the Atomic Trinity. Through the help of his friends, Francis creates characters like Captain Asskicker, the Muscle, and the Screw. The enemies of the Trinity are a cadre of nuns led by the loathsome Nunzilla. The villains are inspired in part by the strict Sister Assumpta and the chain-smoking Father Casey (Vincent D’Onofrio). Casey is not so much an adversary as he is despondent. His advice to his students is devoid of meaning, and he looks like a man who picked the wrong occupation and has no idea how to get out of it. Sister Assumpta does care about the boys, but she does it with such strict fervor that Francis and Tim interpret it as malicious intent. Her biggest beef with the twosome is that they share a love for William Blake’s controversial book, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell. She believes that Blake is a “dangerous thinker,” partly because Blake ends the book by saying, “everything that lives is holy.” The duo sees him as a model for their angst at the religious world, and Blake’s artwork is the inspiration for Francis’s furlough in the comic universe. The movie is unique because it segues between the real world of Francis and Tim and into the comic world of the Atomic Trinity (directed by “Spawn” comic book creator Todd McFarlane). The comic world is violent, with demonic nuns being mutilated (i.e. faces ripped off, heads departing from bodies) by the stenciled heroes. The boys take their contempt for Assumapta a step further by enacting pranks that even outdo those lovable buffoons from “Animal House.” One involves stealing a precious statue, and another is the kidnapping of a cougar. Francis is the more grounded of the two. He comes from a happy family, while Tim comes from a home where one must be fluent in bitter quarrels. Francis also catches the eye of Margie Flynn (Jena Malone), who is smitten by Francis’ use of poetry. The two begin to hang out, and become intimate in that second-base sort of way. Things begin to unravel when Margie unloads a family secret on Francis. It gives the film a more sinister feel, and the repercussions darken the rest of the movie. My outlook on “Dangerous Lives” mirrored the flip-flop sequences from real to comic. At times, I really enjoyed the finger pointing at society posturing. The movie demonstrates that Catholic schools and suburbia have a Jekyll surface that gets its high marks from appearance. The Hyde interior shows that rebellion and dysfunction are the real traits. Unfortunately, most people ignore the latter, many believing that the initial assumption is all they need. I also really enjoyed Jodie Foster’s role as a starched nun (she also co-produced the movie). I’m used to a fuzzy Foster, and seeing her play a purse-lipped spinster was a nice turn I didn’t expect. Kieran Culkin, Jena Malone, and Emile Hirsch all do incredible jobs as the pubescent misfits. They ooze of angst, and they react to the comedies and tragedies like any confused teen would. However, several things annoyed me. First off, Tim and Francis seem occupied with drinking and girl’s underpants. It seems a tad far-fetched that the teens’ raging hormones would take a respite while they read heavy material like William Blake (material I still have trouble digesting). Secondly, Tim says romantic words to Margie that out-mature Shakespeare’s sonnets. I’m sure there are 14-year-olds out there who say things like “you make me feel like a real person,” but it seems way out of place in “Dangerous Lives;” especially from a kid who mangles nuns in his artwork and is accustomed to sailor lingo. Even more far-fetched is the plan to release a cougar in the Catholic School. Yes, I know it’s “just a movie,” but it’s too much. I can understand the comic world (I lived in it for half of my pubescent life) and the pranks on the omnipotent adults, but four alcohol-laden teens releasing a predator is even beyond the unreality of Looney Tunes. The end result is not what I expected, and it gives the movie an unneeded smear on an otherwise smooth offering. (Hunter Pope writes about music and movies for The Smoky Mountain News. He can be reached at info@smokymountainnews.com)