Christine Lassiter died on Tuesday afternoon, Feb. 13, 2001, on King
Street near the University of North Carolina at Asheville. She was surrounded
by family and loved ones at the end. She was a playwright, a poet and
a teacher. She was also a devoted friend. She was 49 years old.
The first time I saw Christine some 15 years ago, she was in the McKee
Building at Cullowhee with two dozen Cherokee teenagers. I had seen
her from the hall - blonde, beautiful and filled with a frightening
energy. Fascinated, I whispered to one of the students, What is
going on?
Miss Lassiter is teaching us to write poetry, she said.
Christine was reading from a sheaf of poems, written by her students,
and she proclaimed each line with enthusiastic delight, leaping and
spinning about the classroom, stopping to say, Isnt that
beautiful! The room was filled with inspired, smiling poets -
inspired because Christine wrung every nuance from every word, making
every line shimmer with musical cadence. I suspected that she could
make a grocery list sound like a Shakespearean sonnet. I was smitten.
I guess I became a kind of groupie.
Christine was everywhere. She taught classes in Cherokee, acted in productions
at the Green Door in Asheville, worked with the homeless and attended
poetry slams throughout the region. Funded by small cultural
grants, she drove an old camper with a sleeping bag in the back and
often slept in campgrounds. After we had become friends, she let me
read a play, Only the Dance, about the homeless in Asheville,
and she actually cast the play from the street people. She
also wrote poetry and did newspaper work. When she came to see me in
Sylva, it was always a brief stop on her way to a class, a rehearsal,
a meeting or a workshop. She was always in a hurry.
Gotta go, she would say, checking her watch. Im
already late.
You just got here!
She would shrug. What can I do? I got 30 students waiting for
me in Cherokee and then I have this workshop in Black Mountain.
I came to hate that watch. We ate in restaurants, attended theatre productions
or read each others scripts with that watch ticking. There was
never enough time. I frequently became angry and would sull up
and pout.
Im sorry, she would say, but I have to do this
stuff.
Why? She would tell me how important it was to teach the
classes, volunteer to work with minorities, the homeless, the aged.
It is just something that I have to do. Two years ago, I
asked her to promise me that she would come to see me someday and not
wear the watch. She had this great laugh like someone saying the words,
Ha, haa, haaa. Then, she said, OK, I promise ...
I think she meant it. Once, she arrived and wanted to walk up the hill
behind my house. She roamed back and forth through the saw briers and
broom-sage, staring at the distant mountains. What if I bought
some land from you and built a house?
Are you serious?
Yeah! Ive saved some money. Then, I could come down in the
evening and sit on your porch and we could write plays.
You are putting me on, arent you?
No. I have a bunch of plays. Bad plays that need a lot of work,
and all of these poems that I want you to read. I have this film script
that I am working on that has five women in it and they are all me!
She laughed. But right now, I gotta go. I was supposed to be in
Waynesville 30 minutes ago.
Once on a nature trail near UNC-A, I asked her if she had ever been
married. Oh, yes, she said. Hes dead.
I asked for details, and she told me about the suicide. She always answered
questions with a disarming straightforward honesty. That was a
long time ago, she said.
I had read a book about survivors of suicide - victims of guilt who
felt a need to do penance. I asked her if that were true. She smiled
and nodded. It was a beautiful spring afternoon, and for a moment she
took it all in. We had eaten an organic picnic and she gathered
up the trash and put it in the bin. The sun was in her hair, and I touched
her nose (she had a slightly deviated septum that I loved) and she smiled.
After a moment, she looked at the watch (a Mickey Mouse). Time
to go, she said, but we are gonna talk soon ... for days!
Well have all the time in the world.
I would like to think that she was serious. She started leaving her
plays with me. She took me to poetry readings at Pack Square and since
I am deaf, she wrote the poems (Jonathan Williams) down in a notebook
as they were read, so I could read them. She took me to plays in Waynesville
and Boone (Romulus Linney) and whispered dialogue in my ear. She attended
productions of my plays and told me the comments (positive) that she
overheard in the audience. She even went to church with me (UU) and
told me afterwards, Those people really like you. You are lucky
to have such good friends. She had a genuine desire to make others
feel good about themselves. Of course, then she said, Gotta go!
I promised to serve on this planning committee for art in the school.
Then, she was gone.
She stopped coming for a while. We talked by e-mail, and she complained
of headaches and exhaustion. She took a teaching job in Boone and actually
commuted from Asheville. Her e-mail messages became confusing, filled
with run-on sentences and misspelled words. Then, the messages stopped.
I only heard by accident that she was in the hospital, and when I went
to see her, she assured me that she was just tired, and
needed to rest. As I was leaving, a friend whispered to me that there
were tumors. A week went by and she called me. As usual, she was considerate
of my hearing loss.
Can you hear me? Ill speak slowly and distinctly.
I can hear you, Christine.
I have something to tell you.
OK.
I ... am ... dying.
It was said very matter-of-factly. For a moment, I didnt know
how to respond, but finally I said, I know that. She laughed
that wonderful laugh. Ha, haa, haaa. Then, she said, We
will have time, now. She went on to say that she had been told
that there would be brief periods of good health. Ups and downs,
she said.
Can I come over?
I have to go to Florida for treatment.
When you come back, then. There was a long silence. Then,
she said, I love you.
It didnt happen, of course, those brief periods of good health
- at least not for us. The treatment didnt work, and after months
Christine was brought back to Asheville. When I went to see her, she
could only talk in brief spurts. For some 15 minutes we talked. She
told me how wonderful I was. How talented. She kept brushing my hair
out of my eyes and moving her hands over my face, like she was memorizing
it.
Finally, someone said, It is time, Christine. They were
taking her to the hospital for therapy. She patted my cheek. Gotta
go! When I rose to leave she said, Love you, and then
she added, Everything is going to be all right! Well talk
again.
We didnt, of course, but I see her everywhere. She loved the little
shops on Lexington Avenue and liked to buy spangles and capes and floppy
hats. There was a photographers studio where she had been a model,
and her portrait was in the window. I remember her at a Storytelling
Festival at the Folk Art Center, her laughter distinctive in the audience.
Ha, haa, haaa. She loved health food stores and theatres
and loved to dance. She once danced with me on a rainy Sunday to Ray
Charles singing Every Time We Say Goodbye. I remember her
on my front porch at night, listening to crickets, in Malaprops, and
when she read her poetry on Wall Street. I remember that the homeless
folks on the street would call her by name when she went by, Christine!
Christine!
There was no physical romance between Christine and I (despite all my
secret hopes), but I loved her. She loved me, too. I know that is true
because Christine loved everybody. We all have her with us in a very
real sense. She is in our hearts.
For her, time has stopped. There is no watch now ... Finally, she is
here to stay.