One of the most unfortunate results of the “free love” and women’s liberation movement of the 1960s is the apparent loss of respect for the institution of marriage. No longer is marriage viewed as a beautiful expression of love and commitment. It is now seen as a monster of repression and even bondage.
Women are criticized for marrying young, for becoming slaves of a patriarchal society. This is painful to many of us who are proud of our decision to commit ourselves early.

This criticism is growing in the South, and is being met with little resentment. This is surprising for a region where chivalry is not yet completely extinct, and the term “housewife” is still a respected member of the lexicon. Jennifer Savage embodies the contemporary assault on the millennium-aged tradition in her recent article, “Transfiguration of a Southern Belle,” which was published in the May 9 edition.

Savage’s hubris is seen most clearly in her analysis of Southern culture’s influence on women. She claims she has seen, “Strong Southern women leave their beliefs at the church door.” Her implication is that the women who firmly believe in traditional marriage vows, as well as the fundamental teachings of the church, cannot be described as strong. Christian culture, evidently, has broken even the stoutest of modern women, forcing them to compromise in the name of tradition. Maybe. But more likely, many of the young women walking to the altar have the ability to think beyond their cultural walls. Maybe their culture has not shaped them, but they have, to an extent, shaped their culture.

Historically, tradition has been a revered element of life. It gives us stability, a sense of connection with generation’s past, and a firm conviction that we are a part of something much larger than our individual experiences. Tradition is not simply valuable in a society, but imperative. Most unfortunate in Savage’s assessment of the effect of marriage on young women is the assertion that when women begin planning their weddings, they become “born-again virgins.” If her conclusion is correct, what better argument for marriage?

She laments young women who become suddenly pious, ashamed or in denial of their spotted pasts. Yet, is that not an integral part of becoming a mature adult? Culture and society succeed when mores and customs force us to be better people. What virtue is found in feeling free to use, as Savage writes, “the F-word.” She is concerned that her married friends say such deviant things as “Oh my,” or “Please,” as a replacement for their once often-uttered obscenities. Well, kudos to your married friends, Ms. Savage, they are gaining respect for themselves and the human race as a whole. They are learning that sloughing off the crude and unnecessary components of their behavior is making them more considerate members of society. Savage eventually concedes maybe her friends, and all of us Southern women, aren’t the full antithesis of modern feminism but just uncreative drones, “showing respect to the place we come from and hold dear the only way they know how.”

I, and many of my peers, married in the most traditional way possible, paying tribute to the South we love. However, not because we are helpless animals acting in “the only way we know how.” We embrace our heritage. We are intelligent and strong enough to celebrate it not because it is all we know, but because it is what we love. We were not coerced, and find Savage’s pity gravely misplaced. I fear a world where the Jennifer Savages help us subservient, trapped Southern women make our choices, a world in which she pours her liberal ideology on our cherished traditions. We Southern conservative young women are just as strong and as intelligent as her “liberated” types who have escaped to their northern utopias.

I invite Ms. Savage to be a little more open-minded. I invite her to a world where she can imagine someone like myself, who adheres to those Southern conservative traditions not because of my ignorance but because of my understanding.

Holly Rhodarmer Godfey is a senior at Western Carolina University. She can be reached at hrhodarmer@yahoo.com.

 

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